The Diary of Snow White III

Today’s post was written by both I and the lovely @nwaokpoechi. Please enjoy.
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Diary, honestly, right now I’m freaked out about everything that’s happened. Yes, EVERYTHING. If I hadn’t already pinched myself several times, I’d think I was dreaming. Really. I don’t know how things got this out of control. Okay, maybe I do. But c’mon! Who would’ve seen it coming?

Okay, I should’ve probably known something was up when I noticed that weird guy that was always following me. I just figured he was a stalker fan, you know? I am famous now, after all. And he’s a guy. Guys adore my little projects. Even those who’d never let on that they do.

In all honesty, I wasn’t quite sure about doing any of this. But it was an opportunity! Plus, I think there’s a saying about looking a gift in the mouth?(How do you even do that? Gifts come in boxes and boxes don’t have mouths). Anyhu, when Donald told me what the Indie movie I was getting a part in really was, I have to admit I wasn’t very sure. I really didn’t think this was how I was going to start my career. But when you have lemons, trying to make apple juice is just well…out of the question. But he and his house mates convinced me I wouldn’t be doing anything different from what I already did with them. Also, there’d be hot guys who’d take really good care of me, and the pay was…well, let’s just say my new mercedes and boobs didn’t pay for themselves..

Everything was fine, diary. We were happy again. But She just couldn’t let us be! Who? Dana!! I don’t understand why she couldn’t just leave well enough alone! I’d already let her have daddy and the house and my old life. She was the one who hires that creepy guy to follow me around. Like, what the actual fuck?! And then she just shows up at the house one day, trying to get me to go back with her. Spewing all sorts of lies about daddy being dead. I know daddy isn’t dead. He can’t be dead. So, I asked her to leave, and offered to walk her to her car. Would you believe it? When we got outside, the crazy bitch started pulling me and trying to force me into the car. I managed to get free, and ran. Unfortunately, I kept looking back to see how far back she was and I ran into a pole. I blacked out after that.

When I came to, there was a totally gorgeous, dark-skinned guy leaning over me. I took to him instantly. His name’s Duro, and he saw how I’d hit my head and fallen and came to help. He didn’t see Dana though. I caught up with the Donald and the guys later though (Duro took me to go get checked at the hospital), and they told me they’d gotten home just as she was about to drive off. They suggested I file a police report against her for attempted kidnapping, so I did. Also, I got a restraining order.

So, my life’s not been exactly smooth. But it all worked out. Duro and I are getting married. He’s not always gonna be around, because he travels a lot, but that’s okay. I really am lucky he happened to be passing by that day. Plus, did I mention he’s filthy rich? Oh, yeah! SCORE!!! 🙂

As I write this, I’m packing my bags. The wedding is in two days and after that, the honeymoon. Maybe Paris, or Maui or Bali. We’re not sure yet. The best news is that he bought me a house in the country. It’s a large estate and it’s really quiet. And exactly the way I like it – complete with maids, servants, butlers and chauffeurs. It’s even better than what I had at home. Honestly, I’m super glad I bagged this one. Just between you and me, that whole acting thing wasn’t really my forte. Finally, I get to leave Hollywood. That life is not for me. I knew I was always meant to be a princess.

 ^_^

THE END.

 

The Diary of Snow White II

Diary, can you say “Whoa!”? Of course you can’t, silly. You’re just paper. But I love you anyway, because if you weren’t here, I’d have no one to tell what happened. Yes, something happened.

Remember how I told you I had an audition for a commercial? I didn’t get the part! Those good-for-nothing, no-brained ass wipes, turned me down! What?! I’m not pretty enough to sell toothpaste?! Ugh!! Dammit!! Needless to say, I was quite pissed. So, I sat on the sidewalk in front of the building and just let my anger boil.

I mean, I so don’t get what’s going on! I always get what I want! But daddy wouldn’t not marry that tramp, and now I couldn’t get a stupid part in a dumb commercial. I just sat there on the sidewalk for what seemed like forever, thinking over my now pathetic life. What’s life if you can’t get what you want at the snap of your fingers? I miss the mansion, and the maids, and the cars, and my credit cards. *sigh* My poor babies. I’m sure they miss me too. And I think I even started to cry a little bit.

Well, diary, fret not! For I have been rescued from the dump we were residing in. After I’d sulked for a reasonable amount of time, I tried to get up off the sidewalk, and I bumped into some idiot who couldn’t watch where he was going. His coffee spilled all over me!! Who drinks coffee in the afternoon?! Who?!?! Fortunately, a nice gentleman calmed me down before I freaked out majorly. He took me to go get a change of clothes, and I told him our story over lunch.

Maybe not our story exactly. I may have fibbed a little. How little is “a little”? Well, I may or may not have told him daddy is dead, and his second wife tried to kill me because she was jealous and wanted everything in the will. What?! C’mon!! I don’t even know how that story slipped out! Honest. But I couldn’t stop once I’d started, so I continued. Hammed it up a bit. Told him she’d even sent assassins after me several times since I’d left, and I’ve been moving from one motel to the other to survive (at least it’s kinda true). Sweetheart that he is, he decided to take me in.

So now, we have a comfortable room in the most adorable house I’ve ever seen (after daddy’s, of course). He has 3 other house mates, and they own a talent agency together. Would you believe it? They’re getting me a part in an indie movie that’s about to go into production. 😀 No, I don’t think we need to discuss what I have to give them in return, do you? I mean, it’s not like I’m the first. Everyone uses what they have to get what they want (I’m learning very quickly.) As far as I’m concerned, all the world needs to know is that these really nice, slightly good-looking fellas took me in and helped me out. Yes, that’s what I shall be writing in my tell-all book when I get around to it.

Looking forward to bigger things *giggle* and bigger roles in bigger movies. Will write later. Gotta go take care of some…stuff 🙂

*Snow* xx

The Diary of Snow White I

Hey Diary,

How have you been? Me? I guess I’m good, but a lot has happened to me since the last time we ‘spoke’. Do you remember Dana? Daddy’s stupid bitch P.A. I used to go shopping with and do my nails with? Yeah? Well, he decided he was going to marry her. OUT OF THE FREAKING BLUE!

Can you imagine that!? So that was why she was being all nice to me. I knew something fishy was going on; the way Daddy used to look at her, the obscene amounts of time they spent together. P.As do NOT spend that much time with their bosses!! And they especially do not hang around the house all the time like she does! I just figured she enjoyed being around me! I mean, who wouldn’t? But, appaz, she was just trying to warm her way into our home.

This is all my fault! If only I had been a little more attentive. Just a little more perceptive and observant, I could have stopped this. But alas, the wedding date has been set.

That skinny bitch. I hate her!! Now I miss Mummy L. I mean, this only goes to show that she cannot be trusted, right? She asked me to be her chief bridesmaid. Imagine the nerve!! And yes, you guessed right; I said a big fat NO! Daddy was very displeased and Dana acted like she was sad and all, but I could see right through her woe-is-me act! She’s a good actress, but not good enough to fool me.

I decided that it was my duty to free Daddy from the shackles of this gold-digging whore. I had tried to talk to him before but he just could find no fault in his ‘queen’. Urrggghhh! I tried to call the caterers to jumble up the orders for the food for the wedding; I tried to shred her wedding dress, and even tried to invite and uninvite some guests. Let’s just say that Lady Luck was not on my side. The wedding was to go on as scheduled and Daddy was more than enraged at me. Little Ms. P.A.-turned-wife just kept on crying and playing the victim all through the whole fiasco. Ah well…

I made up my mind that if Daddy wasn’t going to see the light, then I was going to run away from home. There was no way I was going to live with that woman. I knew fully well it was a glamorous life, but the thought of seeing Dana trying to take Mummy’s place just broke my heart. Plus, I’ve always wanted to be an actress. I figured now would be as good a time as any to chase my dream. Better to kill two birds with one stone than kill…ha, I’ve got nothing.

Anyway, as I write this, I’m in a shabby motel in Hollywood. It’s so not what I’m used to but at least when I become super famous, I’ll have experiences to draw on to put in my bestseller tell-all. WOOP WOOP!!
I’m going for an audition for a commercial tomorrow. I’m really excited about it and I hope I get the part.

By the way, I dyed my hair platinum blonde. I’m kinda getting my Marilyn Monroe on right now. Plus, I’m no longer Mackenzie Black. My name is Snow White.
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So, that’s Snow’s first diary entry. Written by the one and only @nwaokpoechi, who I think should really start blogging again. Thanks for reading. I really hope you liked it. Also, if you missed Cindy’s Diary, feel free to use the links to go back.

Cindy’s Diary III

So, this is the finale of Cindy’s Diary. It’s a tad bit longer than the others, but I hope you enjoy it.
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Diary, I want you to know that as I fill in this entry, my face is like ^_^ the whole time!! I’m doing cartwheels!!! (In my mind, of course) Also, I will be walking down an aisle in a couple of minutes!!! And not just any aisle! I’m getting married!!!!!

Okay. *deep breath* Lemme backtrack.

After the ball, life went on as usual. Well, usual for me though. I was quite content with my one night of ecstasy, regardless of how abruptly it had ended. Cleaning, cooking, and all those other insufferable chores didn’t seem so hectic anymore. Didn’t even mind the talking mice anymore. There was a melody in my heart I thought had died along with my father.

Of course, I had to hide my new-found cheer from ‘them’ lest I be questioned. I do NOT do well under pressure. But, dumb and dumber weren’t helping. They kept going on and on about how much fun they’d had at the ball whenever I was tending to them. I’m guessing in an effort to agitate me. I almost burst out laughing on a particular day when they were having a ludicrous argument about which one of them Duro favoured more. And when they cursed the girl he danced with all night (the light was dim and they were all the way at the back, so they didn’t get a clear view of her), I did my best to hold back a smile.

Mother, on the other hand, had become more withdrawn after the party. You see, the hag had her hopes set on hitching one of her hatchlings to the billionaire’s son. Ha! Such misguided delusions. If she’d bothered to ask me, ‘I’ could’ve told her it wasn’t gonna happen. Save her the emotional torture. Anyway, imagine my surprise when she returned from town smiling. Not at me, of course, but actually smiling. I nearly choked on air when she called up the stairs for the two, and announced “You two have a chance to redeem yourselves!”

Remember the slipper I forgot at the billionaire’s ball? Well, Duro found it. Apparently, he’d tried to run after me when I fled the night of the ball. And now, he was searching for the owner. He’d already been through more than half the girls in our area, and was on his way to the house. The three stooges were beside themselves with excitement. I didn’t understand why. Duro was making girls try on the slipper. Their feet would give giants a run for their money.

And then diary, it hit me. Duro was bringing my slipper back! God bless his obviously jobless heart. My spirit soared at the prospect of my slippers being reunited. I had been quite devastated when I realised I’d lost part of the only thing I’d been allowed to keep from that night. I hadn’t realised I was grinning from ear-to-ear. And, as I looked at my step-mother, I saw an evil spark in her eye. She may not have realised I was at the ball, but she damn well knew I stood a better chance than those disappointments. I was sentenced to an afternoon of chores in the attic.

I had resigned to my fate when I heard Duro pull up with the convoy he had deemed necessary in his task. I sat by the locked attic door and listened to the commotion downstairs. From what I could hear, they weren’t having a pleasant time trying on the slippers. There were grunts and groans, and then finally a crash, followed by someone shouting “The slipper!”. I couldn’t take anymore. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the master key I’d had made in preparation for when I decided to run away, and unlocked the door. Taking the stairs one three at a time as I rushed to the side of my slipper.

Diary, seeing the pieces of shattered glass on the floor killed me inside. Honestly, I became completely unaware of my surroundings and just sank to the floor. Kneeling, I carefully gathered the shards of glass and wondered what I was going to do with the other slipper now. I glanced up from the floor. They were all staring at me. Duro, his p, the mother, and her daughters. Apparently, I had been thinking out loud. I didn’t even care anymore. I just wanted my slipper fixed.

And then Duro recognised me. He knelt next to me, took my face in his hands, and looked into my eyes. All he said was “It’s you.”.

And now, here I am. About to get married to a billionaire! Well, a billionaire’s son but that’s just technicalities. I know I don’t know him that well, and we just met and all that, but think about it. What other options do I have? I’m being offered a platinum deal here. I’d have to be empty upstairs to pass it up. Empty upstairs, I am not.

Well diary, I have to go. It’s time. Maybe I’ll get a hang of this marriage thing. How hard can it really be? If it doesn’t work out, I have a HUGE divorce settlement to look forward to.

Ever hopeful, Cindy
xx

Cindy’s Diary II

Hello! Today’s instalment was written by my awesome friend Onyinye. Hope y’all enjoy it as much as I did. Also, you can like to follow her on twitter -» @nwaokpoechi 🙂
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Damn, damn, damn!! DAMN!!! I forgot my glass slipper at the party. This is just great! If Mother finds out I was there, she will have my pretty head on a platter. Hmmmm. I don’t think she will though. I mean, the slipper cannot possibly be traced to me. Or can it? Chei…I’ve put myself in trouble. Em…I don’t think she’ll find it sha; they’re like a million size eights in this town. Phew!! Cindy, Cindy, Cindy, you have got to calm down. I had better get to cleaning this kitchen and finishing this pot of soup before those daughters of Jezebel arrive.

Ehen, before I forget, those two idiots – Gris-whatever and Esmerugly …you should’ve seen what they wore. Kai. I was too weak to even laugh. All I can say is that something has to be sacrificed to the gods of fashion to appease for that abomination. They made me help them zip their dresses and shine the shoes on their feet. See the fools discussing on how they would they would charm the billionaire’s son with their grace and good looks. I chuckled. Then they looked at me and said, “Just look at this one. You’re not even going to the party and you have the guts to laugh. Ugly little thing.” Ugly? If only they knew. That was when Mother walked in. “Chop, chop girls! We’ve got to hurry. The party starts in a bit.” They started hurrying towards the door. I thought maybe I should try my luck, and asked Mother if I could join them later. Big mistake! “Of course not, Cindy. You belong in the kitchen, my dear.” SLAM. The door went in my face. Imagine.

I went to the kitchen, sobbing as I was cleaning. I couldn’t help but wonder why Daddy would condemn me to such a fate. I mean, how am I supposed to be free from the shackles of these people? Anyhow sha, God dey.

The next thing I knew, one old lady landed in the kitchen, wand and all. She said she was my fairy godmother. I know, I know. Fairy godmother in this day and age? But whatever, she said she could get me to the party and that was all that mattered to me at that point. With the wave of her wand, everything I needed appeared, from a limousine and a chauffeur to a sexy blue dress and a pair of glass slippers studded at the heel with Swarovski crystals. Yes boss! Now that’s what I’m talking about. “Choiiiiiii, Aunty nothing do you!! Thank you so much.” I gave her one serious bear hug. She told me to make sure I was back by 12, because by then the ‘jazz’ would have worn off. And then she disappeared, as quickly as she had appeared. Me I just locked the door and left the house in my limousine. Lemme write that again. MY limousine. Ahhhhh…it felt so good to own something so nice, even if it was just for a short while.

But Diary, as we all know, life is not a fairy tale. As I was dancing with the billionaire’s son – his name is Duro by the way – the clock decided that was when it wanted to strike 12 and I had to run to leave the place in time. That’s how I stupidly lost my slipper. Mscheeeew. Nothing good ever happens to me. Ever. Just when I thought we were making a connection. Ah well. Shit happens. Just that in my case, it’s all the freaking time.

Ah ah, is that the doorbell? They’re back already? Drat!! Gotta go get the door. Hopefully, I’ll have time to write again tomorrow. Till then, as always, I remain ever hopeful.

Cindy’s Diary

So, this is the very first in the princess diaries series. I’m really just dabbling, so I hope you enjoy it. Any feedback will be very much welcome and appreciated 🙂

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Oh freaking hell, diary! I am BEYOND exhausted. I know I’ve been complaining a lot since daddy died, but can you really blame me? These bitches are driving me insane!!! “Clean this!”, “Do that!”, “Fix this!”. Ugh! I just want to shove something incredibly large down their throats!

And that woman! It’s bad enough that I have to call her “mother”! She could try to go bit easier on me. Does she think I enjoy being surrounded by filthy, possessed mice?! If I were her, I’d be a whole lot nicer to the person who prepares my meals. You never know what could ‘accidentally’ get into the meal.

Speaking of mice, I think I might be going insane actually, because I seem to be the only one who can hear them. And they do things. Things animals, let alone mice, should be able to do. I probably shouldn’t complain too much. At least it’s company.

I’m not even in the mood to rant about those retarded lumps of flesh referred to as my step-sisters. If they were nice enough to me, I’d probably teach them some fashion sense. Hideous creatures. I may wear rags, but at least they’re good-looking rags. I actually feel bad for them. They have to be mean with those looks. Who’d want to look at them? And they’re attitudes!! I know about self-confidence, but I think they’re just ignorant.

I’m working on a plan, diary. One that’ll get me out of this hell hole. No more forced smiles, and chores, and especially no talking to mice. I’m going to leave here. I don’t care how! I’m going to do whatever it takes. I’m getting out of here, or I’ll die trying.

Gosh. So tired. Another day of smiling and working ahead. I’ll write again tomorrow. Til then, as always, I remain ever hopeful.