Today’s post was written by both I and the lovely @nwaokpoechi. Please enjoy.
Diary, honestly, right now I’m freaked out about everything that’s happened. Yes, EVERYTHING. If I hadn’t already pinched myself several times, I’d think I was dreaming. Really. I don’t know how things got this out of control. Okay, maybe I do. But c’mon! Who would’ve seen it coming?
Okay, I should’ve probably known something was up when I noticed that weird guy that was always following me. I just figured he was a stalker fan, you know? I am famous now, after all. And he’s a guy. Guys adore my little projects. Even those who’d never let on that they do.
In all honesty, I wasn’t quite sure about doing any of this. But it was an opportunity! Plus, I think there’s a saying about looking a gift in the mouth?(How do you even do that? Gifts come in boxes and boxes don’t have mouths). Anyhu, when Donald told me what the Indie movie I was getting a part in really was, I have to admit I wasn’t very sure. I really didn’t think this was how I was going to start my career. But when you have lemons, trying to make apple juice is just well…out of the question. But he and his house mates convinced me I wouldn’t be doing anything different from what I already did with them. Also, there’d be hot guys who’d take really good care of me, and the pay was…well, let’s just say my new mercedes and boobs didn’t pay for themselves..
Everything was fine, diary. We were happy again. But She just couldn’t let us be! Who? Dana!! I don’t understand why she couldn’t just leave well enough alone! I’d already let her have daddy and the house and my old life. She was the one who hires that creepy guy to follow me around. Like, what the actual fuck?! And then she just shows up at the house one day, trying to get me to go back with her. Spewing all sorts of lies about daddy being dead. I know daddy isn’t dead. He can’t be dead. So, I asked her to leave, and offered to walk her to her car. Would you believe it? When we got outside, the crazy bitch started pulling me and trying to force me into the car. I managed to get free, and ran. Unfortunately, I kept looking back to see how far back she was and I ran into a pole. I blacked out after that.
When I came to, there was a totally gorgeous, dark-skinned guy leaning over me. I took to him instantly. His name’s Duro, and he saw how I’d hit my head and fallen and came to help. He didn’t see Dana though. I caught up with the Donald and the guys later though (Duro took me to go get checked at the hospital), and they told me they’d gotten home just as she was about to drive off. They suggested I file a police report against her for attempted kidnapping, so I did. Also, I got a restraining order.
So, my life’s not been exactly smooth. But it all worked out. Duro and I are getting married. He’s not always gonna be around, because he travels a lot, but that’s okay. I really am lucky he happened to be passing by that day. Plus, did I mention he’s filthy rich? Oh, yeah! SCORE!!! 🙂
As I write this, I’m packing my bags. The wedding is in two days and after that, the honeymoon. Maybe Paris, or Maui or Bali. We’re not sure yet. The best news is that he bought me a house in the country. It’s a large estate and it’s really quiet. And exactly the way I like it – complete with maids, servants, butlers and chauffeurs. It’s even better than what I had at home. Honestly, I’m super glad I bagged this one. Just between you and me, that whole acting thing wasn’t really my forte. Finally, I get to leave Hollywood. That life is not for me. I knew I was always meant to be a princess.