It has come to my attention that a lot of sisters are blind to the fact that guys also do quite a lot of friendzoning. In fact, not only do guys friendzone, but they do it differently from girls too.
Many a female heart has been shattered because they had planned a whole future for them only to be made very aware of the fact that dear sir wasn’t interested in that way.
A guy zoning a female can be hard to spot because, unlike females, they can be subtle about it. A female who isn’t interested will go out of her way to make sure you know there is no way you can ever be more than friends on this God’s green earth or in the life after. A guy, however, strangely is more cautious of hurting a person’s feelings and will encourage your growing infatuation. Often, a guy will exhibit one or all of the following signs:
He knows your name! Awesome! But then, when you let yourself think about it, so what? Your mum knows your name. Heck, I bet she has a special way of calling it too. Do you swoon every time your mother calls your name? When my mother calls my name, I cringe a little bit inside. You have to hear it to understand. Anyway, that’s not the point. My point is just because a guy happens to acknowledge your existence and knows the correct pronunciation of your name and calls it often is not enough reason to start building your future together. Yes, even if (you think) he calls it in a special way.
He cares about you. He may call you often to check on you, and seem genuinely concerned about your welfare and your day and all of that. That’s fabulous, really. It’s great to have someone who cares enough to check up on you regularly. I know this. But it’s still not enough. Keep in mind that our dear Lord and Savior Jesus Christ also cares very deeply about you and is always concerned about your wellbeing. What have you done about that?
He likes to hang out. I’ll admit this part is a bit tricky. When you spend a lot of time with a person, it’s generally assumed that you like this person. You might even share the same interests. The important thing is to learn to differentiate general interest and romantic interest. I don’t know the people you’re hanging out with. I cannot give you clear-cut guidelines on identifying each one. I can however pray for the Lord’s guidance in your life, so that you don’t build a castle on the imagined romantic interest of someone who sees you as a shiny new toy. Look around, when you go out. Is he hanging out with you? Or are you chilling with him (and his friends)?
Pet names will kill you. I cannot stress enough how important it is to realize that assigning pet names is something that comes too easily to guys. A guy will call you “bae” or “baby” or “princess” or any such similarly revolting, generic pet name in less than five minutes after meeting you without even thinking about it. Mostly because he cannot remember your name at the time (It’s a bit of an annoying stereotype, but it’s sadly also very true). Do not be swayed by these empty words, my sisters! Guard your hearts with diligence.
Hands on, hands off. There are some really touchy guys out there. Like, seriously. They seem to always be holding your hand, or have their arm on your shoulder or round your waist. My dear, beloved sisters I am on my knees pleading with you on this issue. It is important to resist the devil. These sorts of guys are the types who want to mark you as their territory and spoil your market and thus, agents of the devil. You’re just there feeling this guy’s touches are electric and he’s just there resting his weary bones.
He can get naked with you. I can understand that every female appreciates a man who can get emotionally naked with her. A guy opening up to you means he trusts you with his feelings. And why would he trust you if he didn’t have some sort of emotional interest in you, right? Wrong. Everyone needs some sort of emotional outlet, you might be (one of) his. Don’t start to take it overboard.
He finds you (sexually) attractive. And he has made no attempt at hiding this attraction. He’s probably even hinted t a couple of things from time to time. You can choose to take these remarks as compliments, but I wouldn’t advice you take them to heart. Is there really any need to elaborate on this?
It’s sad to see a girl misconstrue a guy’s attention for real actual romantic interest and feelings and then get hurt when she actually makes a move. It’s even sadder when a girl takes these misconstrued notions and starts to treat this guy like her boyfriend.
However, it is hilarious when she starts to act up and gets put in her place. Well, maybe not to her. But it’s really is to everyone watching. Do you really want to be that girl everyone is whispering and snickering about behind your back?
We need to step back sometimes and access the relationships we have started to build with people in our minds. My experience has always been that when a guy likes you, you will KNOW, and not just imagine it. If you find yourself still wondering if he really has feelings for you or not, or you actually have formed some type of bond and he’s hesitant about taking that leap, you should probably just accept he isn’t as into you as you think and take a couple of steps back.