The Thing About Disappointment

Today’s opinion post by yours truly. I took your suggestions about the length of the first post into consideration, as you can see, and tried to be brief. 🙂

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Disappointment is something everyone learns early on in life. Well, maybe not everyone. But every child with a proper, well-rounded upbringing has to have experienced that feeling of having your heart, hopes and/or dreams ripped out of you, tossed unto a dirty floor, and stomped on until it’s nothing but dust and the wind just comes and sweeps it away. Several times, as a matter of fact, for good measure. How else are you going to grow into a functioning adult?

Naturally, as you grow, disappointments take the form of different events in your life. When you’re younger, you’re disappointed when you don’t get that toy you really want, or your parents bail on the birthday party//outing they promised, or something you had your heart set on in a store is unavailable when you finally have the money for it. As a teenager, you’re disappointed when you don’t make the team you tried out for, or you don’t get invited to a party like everyone else, or that guy/girl turns you down, or, if you’re a bookie, when you don’t come out top of your class. When you’re much older, disappointment comes in the form of rejected job applications, terrible pay, and basically realizing that everything you thought your life would be at that age was a pipe dream.

But, no matter what life throws your way, you can be rest assured that one thing will constantly disappoint you matter how old you are or where you go – human beings.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, humans are life’s constant disappointment. Even reading this right now, I bet there’s someone disappointed in you, or there’s someone you’re disappointed in, or probably even both. Do you know someone is disappointed in you? Do people know you are disappointed in them? Who knows? My point is the disappointment is present.

I’m constantly preaching that the only way to not get disappointed is to not expect anything from anyone. Ever. Because when you expect someone to act a particular way or do a particular thing, you are setting a bar. The thing about bars is it doesn’t matter how high or low you place them, because the only way to get through is to go over or under. Sometimes, people do go over the bar you set for them, and you go on believing all is fine and good. NO. Because you subconsciously raise the bar every time this happens and then before you know it, it becomes too high for anyone but God himself to go over. And then what happens when your star athlete can’t make the jump? You guessed it! You’re disappointed.

So, should you set the bars really low instead? A lot of people would say this is best, but I disagree. Some people really can’t jump at all, believe it or not. It’s a lot easier to just crawl underneath the bar, or a lot more fun to do the limbo. Some people are just not interested in crossing a bar and will just turn back or go around. And then what? You’re upset. Offended and thinking stuff like “So, she couldn’t even do this simple thing?” and “All I asked him to do was…” Boo-freaking-hoo.

It’s a lot easier for everyone when you have no expectations whatsoever. The truth is, it’s hard. Because we all like to think we have at least one person that will jump over the moon for us. Humans ache for this feeling of importance and relevance for reasons I do not understand. I’m guilty too. It’s awesome when you think or feel that there is at least one person out there you can count on for whatever whenever you need it. Problem is this is the biggest set-up of all as I previously mentioned during the high bars bit.

Lately, I’ve come to realize no matter how hard you try, disappointment is one of those things you can’t evade. It will happen. Several times, even. And a lot of times will hurt more than others. The best you can do as a person is limit the amount of opportunities for disappointment you allow into your life.

Of course this is just the opinion of one person. Feel free to use the comment box below to express your ideas and feelings and maybe even some of those really disappointing moments you may have had.

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