How Nursery-Friendly Are Nursery Rhymes?

Okay. So, nursery rhymes are usually songs and verses primarily written/sang for children, right? If that’s the case, then why are a whole of them so sad and dreary? You can’t say you haven’t noticed it too.

Jack and Jill

“Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after”

We all know the Jack and Jill story. I have to commend them for trying to protect innocent minds from the truth about what they really went up that hill to do (“fetch a pail of water”? Hehehe. She must have been quite the squirter, no?) Let’s brush what really went down aside for a bit and focus on what’s really important.

So, after climbing a hill with Jill, Jack then fell from said hil and broke his head. You know how deadly a head injury can be. He didn’t just bump his head against a stone o! He BROKE it! And that’s not the end

Up got Jack, and home did trot 
As fast as he could caper
He went to bed and bound his head
With vinegar and brown paper.

You see, Jack goes home with his broken head, probably bleeding all the way, and how he even managed to stay conscious is beyond me. At home, vinegar is applied to his injury. Have you ever sliced your hand with a knife and then immediately poured a handful of salt on the cut? No? You should. It’s less painful than pouring vinegar in an injury. Note he’s in bed before the vinegar is applied. This is because the pain will knock you out. Brown paper? I’m going to imagine the rhyme’s talking about some sort of plaster. Problem is, in my head, Jacks injury covers a reasonable portion of his head and I can’t imagine there’s a band aid big enough to cover it. More? Of course.

When Jill came in how she did grin
To see Jack’s paper plaster;
Mother vexed did whip her next
For causing Jack’s disaster.

Jill comes in and grins, excited about her brother’s pain (or about her orgasm). I can’t really say I blame her though, because I tend to laugh when I see certain injuries as well. But, we’re not here to talk about me. So, Jill sees Jack’s injury and her immediate response is to grin. And then mother whips her. But is mother really whipping her for smiling? Or for not coming back with the water she supposedly went to fetch? These are questions we need to ask ourselves.

What does a kid really take away from this nursery rhyme? Why was it really written? Did you know that the earliest version of this rhyme actually had two guys (Jack and Gill) going up a hill? I don’t even want to go down that theoretical road.

I’m just saying. Some nursery rhymes aren’t exactly built for actual nurseries. When infants and toddlers and the like hear this stuff, they don’t even know they’re being scarred. It’s part of the reason why children are so aggressive all the time, I’m sure.

But is it better to allow children get brainwashed into enjoy violence than to acclimatise then to idiocy (with the help of rhymes like that Yankee Doodle nonsense)? It’s a tough call for me. I’ll probably just keep singing gospel songs to my princess (•^_^•)


3 thoughts on “How Nursery-Friendly Are Nursery Rhymes?

  1. All Nursery Rhymes can be translated to mean something along the lines of “Hit me across the face and slap my titties”. S&M is everywhere.

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