Why do people always want to know stuff like this? Haven’t you wondered? Like, is it really anyone’s business? Oh! You’re my friend? Udonmeanit! Please, shift jhor. *sigh* Anyhow sha, I lost a debate with myself on whether or not to do this, so I’m doing it. Here we go.
Of course, as it most often is, my first love was in secondary school. I was in SS1, and just getting over the tomboy phase. By ‘getting over’, I mean I desperately wanted to be a girl. *pause* I just realized something. Like, right now. Honest. *sigh* This is gonna be longer than I planned it to be. 😐
Okay. Two stories. Let’s go.
A) I spotted him as soon as I walked into the classroom. Maybe because he was much lighter in complexion than everyone else. I can swear I stopped breathing for a few seconds.
SIDENOTE: Did you know the heart doesn’t skip a beat or stop beating? Well it does if you’re dead, but that isn’t why we’re here. When you feel your heart ‘stop’ or ‘skip a beat’ it’s because it’s pumping at a much more accelerated speed than normal, thus causing stronger beats. I’m not a 100% sure about this though. Read it somewhere, and it just popped into my head.
Anyhu. So, I saw him. And I wanted him. Yes, just like that. He was uber cute, and I was in JS2. I decided instantly to get close to him, so I investigated a little, and used my male friends as a cover to hang out with him. I’d hang out with them whenever we were free, and laugh at all their, stupid, senseless, juvenile jokes, just to be close to him. He never had stupid jokes though. They were all witty and hilarious. He was sweet, and so shy, and uber cute. I was perfectly happy being friends with him. His presence and attention were satisfactory enough.
But my happiness was not to last. Someone went and opened her big mouth and told him I was crushing on him! You see why I’m not a huge fan of female friends? Why are girls just wicked?
Imagine my surprise when one morning, before assembly, he walked up to me and told me, in what I assume was intended to be the nicest way possible, that he liked me as a friend, but had his heart set on someone else. I’d always known he like someone else. Everyone had told me how crazy he was about her during my little investigation. But hearing it from him? That was just devastating. I just smiled politely and kept thinking “That bitch snitched!!” Maybe not exactly in those words, but you get my point.
Somehow, the whole school found out, some teachers inclusive, and I was teased throughout my time there (JS2 – SS2). I kept liking him though. Patiently waiting for my chance to come. It never did. Even after I left the school, I still liked him. I’d turn as red as a tomato whenever I heard his name. I think I still like him a bit now, or maybe I’m just wondering “what if…”
B) He was my first ever boyfriend. Like I said, I was in SS1 and breaking out of the tomboy phase. Well, not SS1 exactly (I’d just finished writing NECO) but still… He was my friend’s friend, and we met in my estate one day I went to visit. He was sweet, and charming, and wooed me all summer. Yes, wooed. Gifts, and walks, and serenades (he played the guitar), and just pure, young awesomeness. There wasn’t anything particularly striking about his looks, but he was gorgeous to me. We’d sit and talk for hours on end, and never get bored or have any awkward silences. The silences we did have were the comfortable kind, where you’re just content with being next to each other.
Enter, THE FIRST KISS. Firstly, lemme quickly say that my first kiss was from an 8-year-old on my 7th birthday. It was a quick peck on the lips, so it doesn’t count. My first real kiss was not with my first love :(. It was with a guy I’m not really sure if I was dating at the time. I really wanted to kiss David (my love) before I had to return to school, and I didn’t want to embarrass myself. So, I decided to practice with this other guy. HUGE, TERRIBLE MISTAKE!!! It was like he wanted to bathe me in saliva and/or swallow my face *shudder*
I never got to kiss David. Not the way I wanted. Our kiss was light, and sweet, and hurried, because I was already leaving for school and our driver was a dolo. I never saw him again. While I was back in school, our relationship continued through phone calls and letters. And then he died.
So, those are the two stories. Not exactly sure which is/was my first love. I just know these are two guys I felt/feel very strongly about. Maybe you can help me decide. Or not. You know, whatever.