Calling Prince Charming

So, the past two days in bloggersville have been quite interesting, yeah? What with these two post and all. 🙂 -> What Women DON’T Want and. What Men DON’T Want

So, because I LOVE attention (read my twitter bio), I decided to do my own. Can’t afford to be left behind.

However, I did not ask anybody what they want or don’t want. It really isn’t my business. Unless you’re interested, then that’s different 😉

WHAT I WANT IN MY PRINCE CHARMING

    1 APPEARANCE: He has to be fine. Facially, physically, everything. And tall. With just the right amount of muscle. *sigh* And arms. I’m a sucker for arms. What? Ah! Me, one of my goals in life is to produce gorgeous offspring. As in, STUNNINGLY adorable children. Whose faces will glow and radiate beauty (but not like that gay Edward guy sha)..
    But I know it’s God that gives children. I’m just saying, I’m doing my own part too. I can’t get knocked up by L’il Wayne and expect Ryan Reynolds or Jessica Alba to come out.
    And err…looking good also involved dressing well. So…

    2) COMFORT: My prince charming will be rich. He doesn’t have to be wealthy oh! (Even though I won’t mind) He has to be comfortable enough with his finances to fly me all over the world spontaneously. Or at least buy me expensive pretty things once in a while. If I wake up one day and decide I need to go shopping for new clothes and such, I don’t expect to be given dirty looks or insulted. You’re not my father? May amadioha strike your left nyash. Why did you now ask me out? As I was in my father’s house was I not looking fine and taken care of?!!! Isn’t that what attracted you?!!
    Also, his place of residence has to be in a decent area. I cannot be leaving a four-bedroom flat in Area 11 to come and see you at the one-bedroom place in Karimo or Pape that you’re sharing with Eloka. Mba nu. I’m not saying have mansion in maitama, but you get my drift.
    Of course, I don’t need to tell you that your job has to have head. And I believe such a job should at least come with an official car.

    3) PERSONALITY/COMPATIBILITY: Here I have chosen to put some things that are very key to our togetherness.
    i)SPEECH: I WILL NOT hook up with a guy who does not sound sexy! Tufia! Your voice has to make my heart beat faster, and make me wet myself (in the good way).. I do not like phone conversations. I will only pick a call if I know the person calling has a voice that will hold me. Ehenn. Also, a decent command of the english language.
    ii)APPEAL: Other people have to want you. If I’m the only girl drooling over you, I will think there is a problem somewhere.
    iii)SOCIAL: Err…how do I put this? I like guys. Especially the fine ones. And I like girls too!! So, I expect you to have friends that are as good-looking or better looking than you. You know, so I can admire God’s wonderful creations.
    iv) SENTI-SENTI: You have to care about me. Shower me with attention and love. Be involved in my life, but not too involved. I need privacy one in a while. PDA, yes. Unless I say we shouldn’t. And in such situations, don’t ask me stupid questions like “Why not?”.

    4) HYGIENE: Please. PLEASE. *insert your native language for ‘please’. Be clean. Odor of any sort is a NO. You want to kill me?

    5) EXPERIENCE: I like sex a lot. If you are a virgin, don’t bother. I am not a teacher (unless you want me to be 😉 ). My prince charming will get it daily, nightly, and ever so rightly. I expect this gesture to be reciprocated in full capacity.

What else do I want from my prince charming? Doesn’t really matter jareh. These are the important ones. So, any candidates? 🙂

DISCLAIMER: These are not necessarily the real wishes of the author. This post was written to prove a point. I’d like to see who can figure it out. So, please. Use the comment boxes. What do you think the point of this post is?

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25 thoughts on “Calling Prince Charming

  1. See jamb question o. If u won’t tell us, I hapu. Anyways, it seems like I’m first!! Do I get buns or something? I want buns.

  2. Hahahaha….cece if I was a guy…ds line….” My prince charming will get it daily, nightly, and ever so rightly”…
    Darris all!

  3. I was already forming comments in my head before I read the ddissclaimer. God save you! LOL. I’ll be back…

  4. Err, a man who can fly you around the world spontaneously will likely be too busy making money to fuck you spontaneously.

    So your ultimate prince charming will be the house boy or the driver : )

    This comment does not necessarily the thought process of a hunter

  5. Rich but not wealthy and you wanna fly all around the world spontaneously on his tab. You like better thing! What happened to qualities like God- fearing, honest, e.t.c. All of this stuff on your list is superficial joh! In fact your dream husband might as well be Lucifer. Wake up from the dreams jare and yeah, his post should be posted under fantasy…
    Oh by the way, apart from the globetrotting part, shey u will still manage me? I love Jesus.

  6. Ah… I was going to comment on the whole sex idea… But I won’t since others have picked up on that… As for the guy that talked about God-fear and all that… Save it for the birds… Everyone fears God. Put and atheist in a tsunami and see if he, she or it won’t scream a deity’s name. In fact I should write about that next…

    • Ah! My generation don dabaru o!!! You, Tombore no dey fear God. Ok, honesty nko? Everybody is honest abi?
      I see… *collects @ibetapassmynebo’s greygoose and takes a swoosh*

  7. Hahahaha…
    All I thought was this-
    That’s every girls list right..
    But u will be so unable to service him every night if he were available for it.u think say the vagina doesn’t get bruised and beat up?(yeah it rhymed that’s why it found its way into the post)

  8. *smh* I hope your point is/was that a sistah should be allowed to dream and have her fairytale existence as much as she’s got a cyber/virtual one cos this is simply fantasy and plain laffable. :p

  9. If Ʊ like sex the way i like sex & pledge to *inDaPrinceVoice* give it to me now,gimme now,give it to me now…ehen back to d comment… Give it to me daily & nightly, *inDBanjVoice*I will b ur scape goat honey…. Ehen…errm ok*…. Nightly, i will join politics so i can steal enuf moni to fly Ʊ around the world & give Ʊ all dt Ʊ nid, cos I’m ur mumu & Ʊ Я my Maga! Lov Ʊ cece, call me!

  10. “May amadioha strike your left nyash”…LOL

    you girls shud go and watch soap opera jorr…oh wait! its soap opera that caused all this ‘what I want in a man” ish in the first place. you will all grow grey pubic hair while waiting for the prince charming that kate has already married.

    better pray for person wey go understand you,kpere. I know what am saying,it extends beyond money and sense of humor.

  11. I’m giving 6 months. the way this list go shrink it go shock u. travel round the world on a whim. c me c wahala.

  12. Dream on , Only in Fantasy Land You can have all that in one man ,Men with all dis qualities can not be Straight prolly Gay or Bi-curious Lol , But You have to know you can’t have it all , either Rich and not good looking or Good looking and not good in bed , all i know is you can’t have it all

  13. nice write up. i just think u wrote about a hypothetical ideal although we both know that about 80-90% of what u wrote is true for u. and i must say, nice blog

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